sunday senses (no.3)
a [belated] extensive photo diary of may 2025
towards the end of may i had told my twin i don’t know how much fight i had left in me. he responded with this question, “when you stop putting in the fight everyday, what do you think that will look like for you?” i was a little taken aback by the question at first, but eventually i answered. when i thought about what it would look like for me to give up i instantly thought of the little girl inside me and all of the joy i would be denying her. giving up would mean allowing my family cycle to win or not seeking out the life i know i deserve — a life that is surely waiting on me. whenever life is kicking my ass or the tide i call the human existence is starting to feel a little too much i visit this song, give a little, by ego ella may.
come sit with these lyrics with me. feel free to listen as you read along <3
Threw a lock of my hair in
The ocean
To give an offering
Signed a deal I settled for
Insecure
Now I’m feeling the sting
Where we go, we don’t know
Just tryna stay on our path
I’ve been here before
Yet still end up on my arse
But something’s got to give a little
Give a little, I know
Yeah something’s got to give a little
Give a little, I’m sure
(…)
i could speak about how i got into one of the worst fights with my blood relatives or the fact that may almost broke me, but i won’t. if i haven’t learned anything else from this month the one thing i walked away with is knowing everything in this realm comes with a price, including freeing myself. i resonate with ego ella may’s words so much — i threw one of my locs in the ocean to show my submission to my calling here on earth; an offering to my ancestors for choosing me to do what they couldn’t, and giving thanks for providing me with the strength and wisdom needed to be what they couldn’t; but i’ve reached a crossroads. i’m not the maker of this life therefore i am not owed any explanation, but i have no idea what’s going on in my life or where i’m headed for next. due to unfortunate circumstances i’ve decided it is best to hold off school for a while to prioritize my well being. my heart is really sad about this decision since it was forced upon me. the nerd in me was extremely excited about starting school again. it felt like i had finally found a way to bridge all of my interests together, which created an entirely new meaning to my life that i was hopeful for. although life is heavy, i know that everything will make a way for me. gathering photos for this prompt made me realize i am slowly cultivating a free, safe, artistic, and wholesome existence i’ve always longed for. some day soon i will look back at this point in my life with so much love, grateful that i made it through, and with complete shock that all the work, love, and tears i poured out was returned to me tenfold. — some day very soon…
anywho, hi my lovelies! i hope every single person reading this is doing well. thank you for partaking in my life and being a witness to my oh so wild journey <3
since i’ve been away for a long while (emphasis on long, lol) i’m going to do this sunday senses prompt a little different. this prompt will be a photo diary of my time in may. expect more pictures and possibly less words; but i don’t know, i’m a yapper so i don’t know if i can actually promise this, lol. i’m using my school delay as a vehicle to create more work, including expanding outside of my chosen medium(s) and reconnecting with dance. i’ve been playing around with collage-making so maybe you’ll be seeing something soon? nonetheless, art will still be posted on this space <3
may was rough but i indeed had a fruitful art experience. i hope you all enjoy <3
sunday senses
visual (sight):
I. this was the first open studio i’ve ever attended. it was fun and inspiring learning other artists’ creative process and seeing where all of the creative magic happens behind their work. ironically, one of the artist, michael a. booker (first row, middle photo), teaches at the school i had registered to for the summer. hopefully one day i will be able to attend one of his drawing courses because he’s a phenomenal artist. (whoever’s reading this, please ask your creator to find a way to help me begin school <3).
II. last summer i was accepted into an open artist forum for a project i’m working on at this art space, so, it was nice to be back and to get a look into their amazing studios. my spatial awareness is really bad so i never realized how big the space actually was. i was feeling a little sad this day but i am so happy i forced myself to get out of bed and attend this open studio because the artists in residence were super talented. plus, i damn near had an intimate convo with every single artist studio i visited. many photos were taken with my camera so expect to see another roll development soon :)
some quick highlights from the second open studio visit that i’d like to share:
i’ve been very drawn to cowrie shells. one of the artists i visited taught me a new shell, tridacna, which symbolizes protection, strength, and good fortune. you can see the shell in their work (first row, second photo).
as some know, i’m also really inclined to water and the ways black people connect with land. when i walked into charles jean-pierre’s studio, i saw him working on a new piece that really spoke to my heart. to protect the privacy of his process i won’t speak about any of his work but i will say (as a little flex, ofc) that i got a sneak peak of his upcoming exhibition, hehe!
i met the most vibrant and soulful black woman who shoots film and is a native! i wholeheartedly believe i was meant to meet her — she spoke so much life into me and gave me hope for my future and the future of others. she also read me a bit and told me film photographers need to learn how to develop their own film, which i would like to learn once i start creating more conceptual work (and during an artist residency). trump is fucking everything up and i’m broke as hell right now trying to escape from my blood relatives on top of everything else, but she said, “please go live your whole black ass life,” and honestly, i will, lol. i need more older black women in my life, especially artists who shoot film or figures who’ve already walked the path i am slowly leading towards.
lastly, the last artist i visited told me to reflect on the things i found magical as a child, so, i think i’ m going to work on this the entire summer and i want y’all to, too. feel free to chat about what you’ve discovered <3
III. i ran into this asian-american family-owned bookstore as i was heading to work (which is wild since i literally walk this path often, lol). i’m really like a bunny with a carrot when it comes to sales, books, anything sweet, or art. if i’m walking and come across any of these things i’m stopping every single time — and well, their book-sale cart most definitely got me! the collection of black books they had outside were so good i ended up walking inside to find the rest. i was in complete awe when i saw their collection of black reads in the basement. it felt like i had walked into a time capsule with all of my ancestors watching me dig through different historical books to lead closer to them. any part of black-american history you could think of they had a book about it. i was so intrigued that one of the owners gave me a cute little chair to sit on as i dug some more. i’m taking a very long break from black trauma books, but i’m glad i have an official source spot. please, make sure you all support local and family owned businesses, especially businesses that actually care about you.
IV. i promised my high school best friend’s little sister a solo date for a while now, so i finally took her out. we went for drinks at this cute black-owned nola themed coffee shop then i took her to this black-owned gallery i found a long time ago (one of the many perks living in a predominately black area is that there’s so many black-owned spots to visit). i had a nice conversation with the owner who had told me he opened his gallery for his wife — this is a perfect example to always listen to your wife, even blindly! the gallery very much gave black-american middle/upper class afro-motherland aesthetic (if that makes sense? lol). my favorite pieces from this gallery were the sculptures, which felt very nostalgic for me thinking about a very particular type of black-american woman. as i was walking through the gallery i saw a work that looked oddly familiar, then i realized it was jean-pierre’s (the artist i visited at the second open studio) work! i could tell he probably made this sell early in his career but i love that one of his works lives in a black-owned gallery in a little black town. i love full circle moments because it reminds me i am on my truest path.
V. the very first set of my photography that i am showing y’all! i enjoyed getting this roll back but sometimes i feel bad that i don’t make conceptual work. some days i feel like a pretty girl who takes pretty photos but i want my work to be much more than that. i know i have a great eye but i guess i’m trying to rush the process of what it looks like for me? i’d really love to fast forward to five years from now to see what my creativity and inklings have translated into — i want to know what my artistic language looks like for me. anyway though, i am still amazed i randomly thrifted this camera. this is my newest baby and i take them (it doesn’t have boy/girl energy, lol) everywhere now <3
auditory (hearing):
SOTM (song of the month): kissing in public by destin conrad — this song most definitely feels like the beginning of a new summer <3
I, II, II — there’s a few things i could say here but i’m going to keep it short and sweet: all of these auditory sensory moments happened randomly and i took them as a sign from my god speaking to me. these experiences reminded me that even when life doesn’t feel okay i am finally in my calling and most importantly, creating a more tender existence for myself.
gustatory (taste):
I, III, IV — i’ve had a really poor connection with food over the past two years but to think back on how my eating habits were when my issues initially started compared to now i am extremely proud of myself. i’m slowly socially eating again and eating in larger quantities. my goal is to create a balanced meal plan for myself, find healthier sweet alternatives (which i slowly have!), and implement protein in my diet. one of my goals for the end of the year is to gain some of my weight back but for right now i’m just focusing on falling in love with food again <3
II. this weekend was really rough for me; i had it made out in my mind a week prior that i’d have the time of my life here. well, plans most definitely changed and i was not in the best mind frame like i thought i would’ve been for the activities i had planned (specifically black pride + meeting a friend at some black queer film screenings). the one thing i can say i have developed since doing these senses prompts is becoming more aware of my body’s needs, and although sometimes i fail at honoring myself, i’ve been doing much better. instead of forcing my body to do something it simply was not in the mood for, and instead of bed rotting in exchange, i decided to take myself to a wine vineyard. as an only child i love doing things by myself so of course this was a solo venture (which was very much needed). although i was the only black girl in my wine tasting group i didn’t let this stop me or ruin my experience at all. i had a lot of fun being the interesting, creative, solo black girl, venturing around the wine vineyard with my loud silver jewelry asking questions as if i’m going to own my own wine some day (i mean, hey?); and people wondering why she know so much about wine at her age, lol. i’ve always been a white wine girly (and i’ve actually picked up an interest in citrusy wines since last summer) but as someone whose not a lover of reds i was shocked by how much i enjoyed them at this vineyard. moral point, a peaceful time was had <3
tactile (touch):
I. sometimes the remedy for the monotony of adulthood is to revert back to your childlike wonder and allow yourself to play and get your hands a little dirty. although i made this in like five minutes it reminded me of the fun i used to have playing with arts and crafts as a little girl.
II. it’s honestly sad how much we are deprived from touch as adults. as i continue writing these prompts i realize i don’t center my tactile sense enough in my life, which is sad since touch is my top love language. but anyway, i did receive a few hugs this month, some lovingly and some sad, but that’s all i have to say about that *forrest gump’s voice*.
olafactory (smell)
may was hell so i honestly can’t remember anything good i smelled and i absolutely don’t feel like looking back to remember, lol.
interoception — the “8th sense” (internal body)
I. first row, first photo: as i was waiting to pick up some medicine from the pharmacy i came across this cereal box of angel reese. i honestly can’t remember if i ever seen a black girl on a cereal box as a little girl but this box made me jump a little on the inside. angel reese looks gorg on this cereal box; she deserves absolutely everything she wants and the some more <3 // first row, middle photo: one day before work i decided to go see sinners. but omg, why no one tell grandma this movie is gory as hell (at least to me, lol)! i enjoyed this movie so much and would love to find a way to rewatch it. there needs to be a study on how well black people show up in box office for our black film screen writers! // first row, third photo: sometimes watering the plants at my jobs warms my heart because it feels like i’m giving bath to mother earth even in the tiniest way <3. // second row, first photo: so y’all, remember when i made a bouquet for my favorite coworker that left? she came back and gave me a grad school gift! i haven’t talked to her in a while so she doesn’t know i am pausing school for a bit but it warms my heart how much she cared for my grad school journey. i will be saving this gift once i officially start grad school. // second row, second photo: just some plants i enjoyed looking at while i was at trader joes. i ended up purchasing a succulent since i thought the sign said they don’t require much light, but boy was i wrong. // third row, first photo: this was actually the last time i’ve been to my favorite park *sad face*. it’s something about the sun glistening on my skin makes my body feel all restored — this was my first time dosing off at the park. // third row, second photo: the one thing i can say about my job is that they are good with holidays and community stuff. on bee day (may 20th, 2025), my job set up a guerrilla gardening station for bees. i can’t fully remember the mix we created but the clients walked around the area and planted a mixture of seeds for the bees.
II. i still think about this day sometimes and how grateful i am that god have put loving people in my life that i can call family. a few weeks ago i had got into one of the worst fights with my blood relatives that left me feeling debilitated in ways i never felt before. i’m grateful my twin was home this weekend because he took me on a nature walk the very next morning. there’s something so intimate about experiencing the simple pleasures of life (like nature) with the one you love — he really is my lavender hubby <3. words can’t express how grateful i am for him (and my prom bear) for showing up in my time of need. please make sure you tell your loved ones how much they mean to you because we would be nothing without the people who love and nurture us.
okay, all gushiness aside, tell me why we witnessed a whole custody battle between the mommy and papa duck. the papa duck was terrorizing the mom so bad we almost wanted to break them up, lol. most of my concern was with the babies though; i’m hoping they’re okay because their dad is an entitled and mean man, lol. it’s so wild how no matter the species men simply don’t know how to behave. the culprit (the papa duck, lol) is in the third photo, first row. but besides the fight we witnessed, look at how gorgeous the mother is; she posed for me and everything. i love that she stood firm in her boundaries and didn’t take no bs, lol — i hope her and her babies are thriving somewhere and eating well <3
i’m glad i ended this prompt with someone and something that i love. i know this sunday senses prompt was a little hefty but for those who stayed ‘til the end i do hope you enjoyed it! life was honestly so rough for me in may but after finishing this i realize i had some wholesome experiences during this month, which proves there’s always some good in the midst of the bad. i hope everyone’s may went well or if not, i hope life is treating you more sweeter now. thank you for all of your support and being a witness to my journey — i love you all dearly <3
please feel free to drop in the comments how your may was or how june’s treating you!
hey babes! may took a toll on my physical health so i decided to save for a bike so i can begin some physical activity for my overall wellbeing. if you liked or resonated with this post and feel called to send a love offering or support for my bike, here’s the link to do so: honey tip jar <333 — thank you so much! ♡♡♡